Relationships are hard, but they are also very beautiful, raw, real and unique as well. When relationships go well, there is no better feeling in the world but they even get complicated, than there is nothing that causes more stress or anxiety than this. I have learned some very valuable relationship lessons throughout my 20s.
While I have not mastered all of them, they are a part of my daily life in a way that will solidify my happiness in relationships for years to come. Here are the top 15 important lessons I have learned about relationships in our 20s:
1.Avoid having Fights and Drugs
When you’re fighting with your partner, and the two of you are going through a really tough time, drinking or doing drugs together will result in horrible, toxic, evil, cruel fights. You’ll be screaming at each other in the city streets with people staring. You will also wake up in the morning and not even remember what the hell you were fighting about so try avoiding it as it just gives you more stress.
2. Learn to give another person freedom
Freedom is a very important factor of a healthy relationship. As if we keep condition and restrictions on someone the relationship won’t last long and another person would always be unhappy about everything as you have put a lot of restrictions on her.
3. Be your best self
In a relationship or not in a relationship you must know how to be yourself because that is very important part as if we stop being yourself and start being the person the other person wants to be we tend to lose all the attraction and self-respect.
4. Learn self-love
Self-love ties into your self-confidence; it allows you to excel and pushes your drive and growth. Having confidence leads to making choices based out of love and kindness, rather than fear, guilt and anxiety, which are the three emotions that will take you straight to a breakup. Whatever it may be that builds your self-love, my advice to you is to learn how to love yourself unconditionally in your 20s. And, don’t worry if you haven’t mastered this because it is a lifelong lesson to be learned. I am still learning it every day, one step at a time.
5. Learn to trust without strings attached
Learning to trust is hard enough without considering the strings. When I began to trust other people, especially after coming out of some very immature and dramatic relationships in my teenage years and early 20s, I’d often include rules that came with the trust. I’ve created procedures for what it will take for me to trust someone. For example, “I will trust you if you are always checking in with me,” or “I will trust you if you are always telling me I am the person for you.”
Rapid-fire romance (the kind that moves super fast, and you say “I love you” on the third date, and you’re all starry-eyed and crazy) always ends in flames. Flames burn, and if it’s burning and hurting, it’s unhealthy.It means admitting you love someone before he has told you he loves you. It means showing when you are sad. It means learning to be okay with your anxieties and fears and learning to turn them into strengths that lead you to emotional freedom.
7. Understand there is a difference between men and women
There is a lot of difference between men and women which we need to understand as keep that in mind we won’t compare to one another and not just the genders but on all the basis there is a difference between both of me whether it be a job, work, food etc.
8. Learn to respect
Learning how to respect others is huge. Respect is not a self-serving action. As with some of the other lessons here, this one is based purely on approaching life with positive energy rather than negative energy. I’ve found that I’ve never had anyone treat me badly in response to “please” and “thank you,” and I certainly have never been treated poorly because I respected another person’s boundaries or needs. Respect is something upon which you build. I believe there is no such thing as too much respect. Because of that, I am still learning to be even more respectful, no strings attached.
9. Learn how to support and be supported
There are two types of people: takers and givers. I am a giver; I love to support people, and sometimes, this comes from a selfish place. I know that sounds somewhat contradictory, but I have had to learn how to support people in a non-selfish way. I have learned to try and listen to how they are asking for support.In turn, I have also been awkward at taking support. I sometimes don’t know how to accept it, and it is just as important to accept support as it is to give people the right type of support.
10. Learn how to diversify your interests and relationships
Never put all of your eggs in one basket. I’ve had friends who were only through my boyfriend’s social circle and cut off contact with friends outside of it. I’ve stopped going to my friends for support, or my family for fun times, and I’ve been burned badly because of it. Not only does giving up your friends and support system shows that you aren’t loyal, but also, it will leave you with nothing when your relationship inevitably ends. Diversify your interests; make friends with people at work or school. Try out new hobbies with your friends like hiking and exercise classes. You may even pique your love’s interests and get him or her to try something new with you.
11. Engage in romance
Romance is scary, and pulling out all the stops, like the flowers, the wine and the love letters makes you vulnerable. I am no exception; romance scares the crap out of me, but making time for romance in your relationships is essential. That trip to a quaint ski town, or night at a hotel in your own city will create special memories and moments that you will cherish long after they are over.
12. Let go of fear
I think this lesson is something people have to continue to practice over the course of their lives. At times, if I am tired, stressed, grumpy or life is not going my way, I fall back into that dark place where I make decisions out of fear.And, I can tell you that every time I have made decisions based out of fear, I have lost out on something. I have made the wrong impression, communicated the wrong emotion, pushed people away and hurt other people because of my fears. Learning to let go is a constant struggle, but practising letting go will lead to freedom, high-value, self-love, trust, vulnerability and respect. And, while you may take a while to understand these lessons or realize why they are important, you will have your own journey in your 20s to learn your most important relationship lessons.
To have real love, you must cultivate a deep, healthy relationship with yourself FIRST.
Alcohol is the mortal enemy of a healthy relationship.The other person usually does not like if the other person is drunk or consuming alcohol half the time which would even spoil up or cause fights in a relationship.
15. Learn self-respect
As important as it is to respect other.r people, it is equally as important to respect yourself.