Relationship Trouble Blog

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Signs of cheating in a relationship include:

1.Sudden increase in late night work at the office
2.Sudden interest in his or her appearance
3.Leaving the room to receive calls on his/her cell phone
4.Vague responses when explaining why he or she is late
5.Showering immediately upon coming home
6.Spouse becomes uncharacteristically argumentative with no apparent cause
7.Spouse becomes closed and distant
8.Spouse gets angry when you look at his/her cell phone or computer
9.Spouse is acting nervous, tries to change the topic of discussion or finds an excuse to go and do something else
10.Your spouse accuses you of cheating

Related:

How to Catch a Wife Cheating

Cheating Husband Clues

According to a study reported in the recent issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA), the way in which people think, feel and behave in their adult romantic relationships is governed not only by factors in their surroundings, but is also a direct result of their past relationships and personal attachment extending all the way back to childhood.

In a study that has spanned more than 25 years, and is still being conducted, 78 individuals were studied at four pivotal points in their lives – infancy, early childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. At the first checkpoint when the participants were 12 months old, caregivers reported on the children’s attachment and exploratory behavior. At the second checkpoint when the participants were 6-8 years old, the participant’s teachers were asked to rate how well the children interacted with their peers. At the third checkpoint the16 years old, participants were asked to describe their close friendships.At the most recent reporting, the participants’ romantic partners (of at least four months) were asked to describe their experiences and their partner’s expressions of emotion during their relationship.

The findings of this study showed that expression of emotions in adult romantic relationships can be related back to a person’s attachment experiences during earlier social development. The participants who were secure and attached as infants were rated with higher social competence as children. Children who were socially competent amongst peers were found to be more secure and closer to their friends at age 16. Participants who were closer to friends as a teen were more expressive and emotionally attached to their romantic partners in early adulthood.

The current findings highlight one developmental pathway through which significant relationship experiences during the early years of life are tied to the daily experiences in romantic relationships during early adulthood. “One encouraging finding, however, is that the study does not suggest that an individual’s past unalterably determines the future course of his/her relationships.” says W. Andrew Collins, lead author and University of Minnesota psychology professor.

According to a Cornell University communication researcher, online daters, men and women, usually lie about either their height or weight, and sometimes their age.

Men systematically overestimate their height, while women more commonly underestimate their weight, says Jeffrey Hancock, an assistant professor of communication and the lead author on this study. “Surprisingly, age-related deception was minimal and did not differ by gender” he also said.

- About 52.6 % of the men in the study lied about their height, as did 39 % of the women.
- Slightly more women lied about their weight (64.1 %) than did men (60.5 %).
- When it came to age, 24.3 % of the men were untruthful, compared with 13.1 % of the women.

Cornell University researchers examined four popular dating sites. Study participants – 80 of them - were recruited in New York City through advertisements. After collecting information about the participants from their online profiles, the researchers measured each person’s height and weight, and obtained their age from drivers’ licenses.

The pattern of lies – frequent but slight – suggest that deception in online dating profiles is strategic. “Participants balanced the tension between appearing as attractive as possible, while also being perceived as honest,” Hancock said.

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According to InsideDivorce.com research, one in five marriages (19%) – are not stable and could be heading for the divorce courts.

Key findings from the report include:

- Infidelity, falling out of love and abuse are the primary reasons for divorce in Great Britain.
- One in three men are bored with their wife and marriage.
- The average length of marriage is seven years and three months.

27% of divorced or separated people surveyed said that finding out that their partner was having an affair was the defining moment that indicated the end of their relationship. In terms of how they discovered their partner’s infidelity: 54% discovered the affair themselves, while 1 in 5 confessed, and 4% were told by the “other man/woman”.

22% of divorcees said that falling out of love was what lead to the breakdown of their marriage. 15.9% of women and 6% of men said a serious incident of abuse is what pushed them over the edge. Forty per cent of women claimed that mental and physical abuse was a problem during their marriage.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse

How to Save a Marriage

All couples fight and argue, but it is how they communicate during their conflict that can determine whether they will stay together or not.

Dr. Keith Sanford, a clinical psychologist and an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University, and his research team, studied dozens of couples as they communicated through a fight. He focused on what influences whether a person will use negative or positive communication during an argument.

The most interesting finding is that negative emotions can in fact be a good thing. Sanford described two types of negative emotion, “hard” and “soft”. Hard emotion is associated with asserting power. On the other hand, soft emotion is associated with expressing vulnerability. Sanford and his team found that hard emotion escalated fights, and that soft emotion is beneficial for relationships. Soft emotion increases a couple’s motivation to address a conflict and often leads to productive approaches toward resolving the conflict.

People think that all negative emotion is bad but Dr.Sanford found that that simply isn’t the case: “As humans, we are very sensitive to ‘is this person going to fight against me or cooperate with me.’ If you say more things that signal that you willing to cooperate, that can make all the difference”, Sanford said.

While some forms of technology, for example cell phones or e-mails, can help relationships survive long distances, chronic television watching affects how people communicate in relationships.

According to Glenn Sparks, a professor of communication and mass media effects expert at Purdue University, watching television or a movie together might be a fun thing to do, but too much TV can interfere with getting to know someone or maintaining a relationship.

Professor Sparks’ research shows that television viewing reduces the amount of time spent talking, listening and making eye contact when people are in the same room.

“There may be programs we like to watch together” Sparks says, “This is good, but there is a concern that a television that will always interfere with how we communicate”.

Turning off the television is the best gift you can give to your partner this Valentine’s Day.

No-one has a perfect relationship, but we can try to have one. Here are some tips:

- Be yourself from the start of a relationship

- If your partner is doing something that is irritating to you, don’t put up with it. Talk about it and let your partner know how you feel.

- Spend time together every day - even if it’s only for 5 minutes. Talk, kiss, and enjoy each other’s company.

- Do fun things together, for example exercise together or take a cooking class together.

- Compliment your partner every day. Make him/her feel good. Be sincere.

- Learn to be a good listener.

- If you really have to argue - argue softly.

- Go out on a double-date with another couple and try to learn more about their relationship. Ask them for advice if you want.

Common Marriage Problems

If you want to be a good husband follow these tips:

- Be the person she knows that she can always count on.

- Show an interest in her hobbies, and other things she like, and talk to her about things that interest you.

- Do “little” things for her (making her coffee, making breakfast…)

- Give her space - every woman needs to spend some time with her female friends

- Never, ever lie to her.

- Take care of the children (read them a bedtime story, spend time with them outside…)

- Don’t treat her like a housemaid.

- Your wife should be more important to you than some other family members, for example your parents.

- Be the most romantic man in the world. (compared to things listed above, this is not that difficult)

- Give her unconditional love. This means loving her no matter what.

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These are some suggestions important for every marriage:

- When your husband comes home, always greet him with a smile that says that you are happy to see him.

- Be his greatest supporter and try to understand his needs.

- Try to be beautiful for him, inside and out. Every husband loves to see that his wife cares about herself.

- Nagging can destroy any marriage. Instead of nagging, ask once, then try again the next day and ask again, nicely.

- Give him space - let him go out with his friends.

- Don’t lie and manipulate him.

- Expect the best from him - men love that

- Say “I love you” and mean it. Give him a feeling of trust and safety and he will love you unconditionally.

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