Relationship Trouble Blog

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Loneliness is an emotional state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness. This is not to be confused with being alone. Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for individuals to be alone and refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of their lives.

There are a number of ways to deal with loneliness:

- Constantly remind yourself that the feeling of loneliness is temporary and you will get over it in time.
- Spending time alone will help you examine yourself more closely. However, make an effort to talk to someone new. It is hard, but he first step is usually the hardest and most necessary.
- Put yourself in new situations where you will meet people. Engage in activities in which you have genuine interest. Meet with people of similar interest.
- Learn a new skill. Success in achieving something will definitely make you feel good about yourself.
- Stop listening to sad songs.
- Open yourself to others first. You cannot expect people to share their troubles with a closed person.
- Do not judge new people on the basis of past relationships. Try to see each person you meet from a new perspective instead of bring judgmental.
- Don’t just seek romantic relationships. Platonic relationships can be extremely satisfactory.
- If you are having long term depression, it is not wrong to seek medical advice. See a counselor and talk in privacy.

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Breaking up is a time when there are many emotions going on - there are so many feelings that you may be hiding deep inside and you are searching for an effective way to release them. When this is the case, you may want to find a hobby to fill your hours. Take an art class, or learn how to do pottery. Take up a hobby that gets you back into interacting with others, for example dance lessons. Also, you can learn how to write. You can write a story about your life and describe what you are going through. Write down all the things that you would normally keep to yourself. Writing a journal is something that you can use to comfort your feelings when you are embarrassed to do so any other way. But make sure you don’t isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your friends should be the key to finding yourself after your break up. Share your feelings - you should be with individuals who love you. Remember, it is hard getting over a relationship, but breaking up can sometimes be a blessing.

How to get an ex back.

Want to get back your husband or wife? Do you think that you will never get him or her back no matter what you do? Everybody has these kind of thoughts, however, if you want to win back your spouse you can do it! There are no shortcuts and you’ll need to be patient.

If you are determined to win back your wife or husband, the best thing to do is to give him or her the space he/she needs. The more you call your spouse and try to win them back, the less likely it is that they’ll come back. Many people want to experience something different and this does not necessarily means that your relationship is over.Your partner might just be confused. At this moment you need to build up your self esteem, and let your spouse know that you are confident with yourself. In time your partner will realize that he or she really misses being with you. Many men and women go through the - ” I don’t know what I’ve got until it is gone” syndrome.

Consider dating your wife or husband again. Ask them out on a real date - dinner, movies, something romantic. Start over with your spouse as though you have just met.Try to write a love letter. Bring the romance back into your marriage and make your spouse feel special again. Show them that you are that person that they originally fell in love with. Or - tell them you’ll change because you love them. When you start dating and romance again – do not stop. Romance and dating should not stop after marriage.

Step-by-step instructions: on how to get your husband or wife back.

There are several types of cheaters: those who will cheat once, then feel bad about it, and never repeat their mistake, those who continue the cheating pattern again and again until they are caught, and those who make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful.

If you want to know how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat that same behavior over again. Then you have to think about whether you trust them enough - consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when they ask for reconciliation. Unless you know your partner very well, you’ll probably not be able to reassure yourself that his/her infidelity was a one-time event.

Make sure you can live with the knowledge of your partner’s betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive.

The root cause of the problem has to be discussed and dealt with: Things between you and your partner will never be the same again. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused infidelity are eliminated from your relationship. For instance, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture.

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1. Make sure you know what you are looking for. If you don’t know, you’ll end up settling for whoever comes along. Make a written list of the top qualities in an “ideal person” you would like - such as honesty, sense of humor etc… Use this list as your guideline when dating - the closer the person matches your “ideal person” the better chance you have of finding the right one.

2. Realize that there is no such thing as an “ideal person” so you’ll have to compromise on minor things, for example hair color or body type, but it is not recommended to compromise on major issues. In another words, if you don’t want children, don’t date someone who wants a family or has children.

3. Be sure you are compatible in all areas. For a compatible relationship or marriage, couples should have common interests and principles. Imagine living your entire life with someone who does not understand you…

4. Keep in mind that your “ideal person” is searching for their “ideal” too. So, if you want someone athletic, you should get into shape, because athletes like their partners to be in good physical condition too.

5. Once you’ve found your perfect partner, take at least six months to a year to really get to know them inside and out. If you can’t picture yourself with this person in 20, 30 or 40 years, then he or she is not the right person for you.

It is estimated that over 80% of failed relationships could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. Here’s a list of the 1,000 most important questions to ask.

Some of people’s biggest communication problems come in sharing new information with people they know well, newly published research at the University of Chicago shows.

Because they already share quite a bit of common knowledge, people often use short, ambiguous messages in talking with co-workers and spouses, and accordingly unintentionally create misunderstandings, says Boaz Keysar, Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago. “People are so used to talking with those with whom they already share a great deal of information, that when they have something really new to share, they often present it in away that assumes the person already knows it” said Keysar.

In order to test the theory, the researchers created a communications game in which parties had unequal amounts of information. They prepared line drawings of unusual shapes and gave them made-up names and then trained University of Chicago students to recognize different numbers of the shapes. During this game students were tested to see how well they could communicate to a partner the identity of one of the shapes. Students, who with their partners shared a great deal of knowledge about the shapes, used names more often in identifying the shapes while students who did not have a great knowledge of the shapes described the shapes rather than naming them.

The students were more likely to confuse the partners they shared more information with because they would automatically use the name of a shape rather than the description, assuming that their partner would know what they were talking about, when in reality he or she did not recognize the name.

Relationship Trouble

There is no “right” way to make a relationship work, but here are a few tips to remember:

- Every relationship is different - don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s (your friend’s, parent’s or your co-worker’s)

- Work on creating and developing the emotional aspect of your relationship before any physical involvement occurs.

- Work on your relationship every single day in every way possible.

- Use all the help available. There are lots of resources to use to improve your relationship: relationship articles, and relationship ebooks for example. Do whatever you can to improve and strengthen your relationship or marriage.

What Makes a Good Marriage?

Signs of cheating in a relationship include:

1.Sudden increase in late night work at the office
2.Sudden interest in his or her appearance
3.Leaving the room to receive calls on his/her cell phone
4.Vague responses when explaining why he or she is late
5.Showering immediately upon coming home
6.Spouse becomes uncharacteristically argumentative with no apparent cause
7.Spouse becomes closed and distant
8.Spouse gets angry when you look at his/her cell phone or computer
9.Spouse is acting nervous, tries to change the topic of discussion or finds an excuse to go and do something else
10.Your spouse accuses you of cheating

Related:

How to Catch a Wife Cheating

Cheating Husband Clues

According to a study reported in the recent issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA), the way in which people think, feel and behave in their adult romantic relationships is governed not only by factors in their surroundings, but is also a direct result of their past relationships and personal attachment extending all the way back to childhood.

In a study that has spanned more than 25 years, and is still being conducted, 78 individuals were studied at four pivotal points in their lives – infancy, early childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. At the first checkpoint when the participants were 12 months old, caregivers reported on the children’s attachment and exploratory behavior. At the second checkpoint when the participants were 6-8 years old, the participant’s teachers were asked to rate how well the children interacted with their peers. At the third checkpoint the16 years old, participants were asked to describe their close friendships.At the most recent reporting, the participants’ romantic partners (of at least four months) were asked to describe their experiences and their partner’s expressions of emotion during their relationship.

The findings of this study showed that expression of emotions in adult romantic relationships can be related back to a person’s attachment experiences during earlier social development. The participants who were secure and attached as infants were rated with higher social competence as children. Children who were socially competent amongst peers were found to be more secure and closer to their friends at age 16. Participants who were closer to friends as a teen were more expressive and emotionally attached to their romantic partners in early adulthood.

The current findings highlight one developmental pathway through which significant relationship experiences during the early years of life are tied to the daily experiences in romantic relationships during early adulthood. “One encouraging finding, however, is that the study does not suggest that an individual’s past unalterably determines the future course of his/her relationships.” says W. Andrew Collins, lead author and University of Minnesota psychology professor.

According to a Cornell University communication researcher, online daters, men and women, usually lie about either their height or weight, and sometimes their age.

Men systematically overestimate their height, while women more commonly underestimate their weight, says Jeffrey Hancock, an assistant professor of communication and the lead author on this study. “Surprisingly, age-related deception was minimal and did not differ by gender” he also said.

- About 52.6 % of the men in the study lied about their height, as did 39 % of the women.
- Slightly more women lied about their weight (64.1 %) than did men (60.5 %).
- When it came to age, 24.3 % of the men were untruthful, compared with 13.1 % of the women.

Cornell University researchers examined four popular dating sites. Study participants – 80 of them - were recruited in New York City through advertisements. After collecting information about the participants from their online profiles, the researchers measured each person’s height and weight, and obtained their age from drivers’ licenses.

The pattern of lies – frequent but slight – suggest that deception in online dating profiles is strategic. “Participants balanced the tension between appearing as attractive as possible, while also being perceived as honest,” Hancock said.

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