Relationship Trouble Blog

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The first step to resolve your marriage problems is to accept that they exist. You should be honest with yourself, should be able to identify the differences in your relationship and try to improve them. If you try to go away from the problems, they will never be solved. Accept the situation as it is and be prepared for the challenges which may lie ahead.

However, saving your marriage is not merely solving the problems. Reigniting your love for each other is one of the best ways to save a marriage. You can express your passion for your husband or wife with special dates and surprises. Remember the most romantic times you spent together and then recreate them but make them more unique.

Give some time for each other to share the feelings. The purpose is to grab the attention of your spouse and make your marriage healthy. If you are successful in developing the passion for each other, then other troubles can be immediately solved. Good communication is an important factor in marital relationships.

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RelationshipTrouble.info offers a 50 page downloadable guide - “Stop Your Divorce And Save a Marriage” completely free.

Here is just some of the advice you will find inside:

- Little known facts about the economics of divorce, including the true financial cost of ending a marriage.

- Does divorce really make a person happier? Take a look at the statistics.

- The secret behind “painless divorces” and why they don’t exist.

- Why divorce lawyers aren’t really on your side.

- How is divorce affecting your child.

- How successfully married couples view their relationship.

- Seven simple pleasures of marriage you may have forgotten about.

- The secret to a successful marriage through partnership.

- How to recognize turning points in your marriage.

- What friendship means inside a marriage.

So how do you get this ebook? The ebook is free but is only available to subscribers to this blog. If you are not already a subscriber, just add this blog’s RSS feed to your feed reader. The download link is found inside the feed. Just click it and download the zip file containing the ebook.

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Loneliness is an emotional state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness. This is not to be confused with being alone. Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for individuals to be alone and refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of their lives.

There are a number of ways to deal with loneliness:

- Constantly remind yourself that the feeling of loneliness is temporary and you will get over it in time.
- Spending time alone will help you examine yourself more closely. However, make an effort to talk to someone new. It is hard, but he first step is usually the hardest and most necessary.
- Put yourself in new situations where you will meet people. Engage in activities in which you have genuine interest. Meet with people of similar interest.
- Learn a new skill. Success in achieving something will definitely make you feel good about yourself.
- Stop listening to sad songs.
- Open yourself to others first. You cannot expect people to share their troubles with a closed person.
- Do not judge new people on the basis of past relationships. Try to see each person you meet from a new perspective instead of bring judgmental.
- Don’t just seek romantic relationships. Platonic relationships can be extremely satisfactory.
- If you are having long term depression, it is not wrong to seek medical advice. See a counselor and talk in privacy.

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Breaking up is a time when there are many emotions going on - there are so many feelings that you may be hiding deep inside and you are searching for an effective way to release them. When this is the case, you may want to find a hobby to fill your hours. Take an art class, or learn how to do pottery. Take up a hobby that gets you back into interacting with others, for example dance lessons. Also, you can learn how to write. You can write a story about your life and describe what you are going through. Write down all the things that you would normally keep to yourself. Writing a journal is something that you can use to comfort your feelings when you are embarrassed to do so any other way. But make sure you don’t isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your friends should be the key to finding yourself after your break up. Share your feelings - you should be with individuals who love you. Remember, it is hard getting over a relationship, but breaking up can sometimes be a blessing.

How to get an ex back.

Want to get back your husband or wife? Do you think that you will never get him or her back no matter what you do? Everybody has these kind of thoughts, however, if you want to win back your spouse you can do it! There are no shortcuts and you’ll need to be patient.

If you are determined to win back your wife or husband, the best thing to do is to give him or her the space he/she needs. The more you call your spouse and try to win them back, the less likely it is that they’ll come back. Many people want to experience something different and this does not necessarily means that your relationship is over.Your partner might just be confused. At this moment you need to build up your self esteem, and let your spouse know that you are confident with yourself. In time your partner will realize that he or she really misses being with you. Many men and women go through the - ” I don’t know what I’ve got until it is gone” syndrome.

Consider dating your wife or husband again. Ask them out on a real date - dinner, movies, something romantic. Start over with your spouse as though you have just met.Try to write a love letter. Bring the romance back into your marriage and make your spouse feel special again. Show them that you are that person that they originally fell in love with. Or - tell them you’ll change because you love them. When you start dating and romance again – do not stop. Romance and dating should not stop after marriage.

Step-by-step instructions: on how to get your husband or wife back.

- 59% of women cheat on their partner. This trend is rising.
- 3 out of 4 married men cheat on their wife
- 30% of people who have chatted online or emailed the opposite sex have turned at least one of those instances into an actual real-life meeting that ended up in sex
- 1 in 2 people who consider themselves happily married, have also cheated on their spouse
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There are several types of cheaters: those who will cheat once, then feel bad about it, and never repeat their mistake, those who continue the cheating pattern again and again until they are caught, and those who make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful.

If you want to know how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat that same behavior over again. Then you have to think about whether you trust them enough - consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when they ask for reconciliation. Unless you know your partner very well, you’ll probably not be able to reassure yourself that his/her infidelity was a one-time event.

Make sure you can live with the knowledge of your partner’s betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive.

The root cause of the problem has to be discussed and dealt with: Things between you and your partner will never be the same again. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused infidelity are eliminated from your relationship. For instance, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture.

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Brigham Young University (BYU) research suggests that marital woes that can result from financial ups and downs have as much to do with a couple’s expectations as their paychecks and credit card bills.

The first-ever study to examine the impact of materialism on marital satisfaction found that highly materialistic spouses are about 40 percent more likely than non materialistic spouses to experience high levels of financial problems, which consequently harm their marital satisfaction. What’s more, the impact of materialism held true across all income levels.

“For a highly materialistic spouse or couple, it takes less financial disturbance to trigger a financial problem”Jason Carroll, BYU assistant professor explained. “Some would say, ” I’m not living a good life and I don’t have a good marriage if we can’t afford to go on that vacation or purchase designer décor for our home,” where a less materialistic spouse would not view these limitations as a major issue.”

Using complex statistical analyses, Carroll’s research team found that materialism among one or both spouses was more predictive of the extent of a couple’s financial problems than their income. The model also connected this higher level of financial problems with lower marital satisfaction.

“This study suggests that spouses set their own threshold for what they view as a money problem” Carroll said. “If spouses are overly materialistic, their threshold will be quite low, thereby increasing the likelihood that finances will be a problem in their marriages.”

Materialism may increase financial problems in marriage in two ways:

1. A spouse may use money unwisely in chasing unreasonable materialistic expectations, therefore causing actual money problems

2. Materialistic expectations may cause a spouse to interpret a financial situation negatively, leading to more complaints and conflicts, even when another couple with similar financial resources won’t have such conflicts because of lower expectations.

Carroll gave the following four recommendations:

1. Separate needs from wants. It is often said, “Yesterday’s luxuries have become today’s necessities.” In today’s consumer culture, it is important for couples to carefully distinguish between their “needs” and their “wants” when it comes to family spending.

2. Check financial benchmarks. Many people do not see their financial expectations are too high because they compare their spending habits to others who have more. Couples who typically compare themselves to others who have more than they do frequently develop a sense of entitlement and resentment, while couples who see their situation through the eye of those who have less are more likely to foster a sense of gratitude in their lives.

3. Focus on the simple. The saying goes, “The most important things in life are not things.” While easy to say, this phrase is much harder to live. Financial strain in marriage, brought on by high materialistic expectations, often causes couples to not fully appreciate the simple aspects of their relationship that money cannot buy.

4. Lower expectations. Financial problems in marriage are as much about expectations as they are about behaviors. Lowering financial expectations can benefit marriages in two ways. First, spouses will be more willing to avoid making purchases that create debt and stress in their relationship and, second, spouses will be more inclined to interpret their current situation with more gratitude and optimism.

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1. Make sure you know what you are looking for. If you don’t know, you’ll end up settling for whoever comes along. Make a written list of the top qualities in an “ideal person” you would like - such as honesty, sense of humor etc… Use this list as your guideline when dating - the closer the person matches your “ideal person” the better chance you have of finding the right one.

2. Realize that there is no such thing as an “ideal person” so you’ll have to compromise on minor things, for example hair color or body type, but it is not recommended to compromise on major issues. In another words, if you don’t want children, don’t date someone who wants a family or has children.

3. Be sure you are compatible in all areas. For a compatible relationship or marriage, couples should have common interests and principles. Imagine living your entire life with someone who does not understand you…

4. Keep in mind that your “ideal person” is searching for their “ideal” too. So, if you want someone athletic, you should get into shape, because athletes like their partners to be in good physical condition too.

5. Once you’ve found your perfect partner, take at least six months to a year to really get to know them inside and out. If you can’t picture yourself with this person in 20, 30 or 40 years, then he or she is not the right person for you.

It is estimated that over 80% of failed relationships could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. Here’s a list of the 1,000 most important questions to ask.

Some of people’s biggest communication problems come in sharing new information with people they know well, newly published research at the University of Chicago shows.

Because they already share quite a bit of common knowledge, people often use short, ambiguous messages in talking with co-workers and spouses, and accordingly unintentionally create misunderstandings, says Boaz Keysar, Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago. “People are so used to talking with those with whom they already share a great deal of information, that when they have something really new to share, they often present it in away that assumes the person already knows it” said Keysar.

In order to test the theory, the researchers created a communications game in which parties had unequal amounts of information. They prepared line drawings of unusual shapes and gave them made-up names and then trained University of Chicago students to recognize different numbers of the shapes. During this game students were tested to see how well they could communicate to a partner the identity of one of the shapes. Students, who with their partners shared a great deal of knowledge about the shapes, used names more often in identifying the shapes while students who did not have a great knowledge of the shapes described the shapes rather than naming them.

The students were more likely to confuse the partners they shared more information with because they would automatically use the name of a shape rather than the description, assuming that their partner would know what they were talking about, when in reality he or she did not recognize the name.

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